Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Former Iron Maiden Frontman Officially Hits Rock Bottom


If you blinked, you probably missed the time during the 90's when Blaze Bayley sang in Iron Maiden. Don't worry, you didn't miss much. All of us at Metal Inquisition sincerely hope that Mr. Bayley saved up whatever money he made during that time with Maiden, though judging by the ad above...it would appear that he didn't. I'm sure that every night, as he cries himself to sleep holding his wig, he asks "why couldn't they keep me in the band like they did with Janick Gers? If a band has three guitar players, why not two singers...wahhhh!"

Thanks to one of our readers for bringing this ad to our attention.

4 comments:

  1. A-FUCKING-MAZING.

    If only they had worked in about five more Maiden song titles into the ad copy somehow. Wow.

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  2. BUT THERE IS PRAYER FOR THE BALDING

    When former Iron Maiden and Wolfsbane frontman and vocalist and inventor of the "Mexican shower" Blaze Bayley had the "Revelations" he was losing his thick, manly locks of hair he did not "Run to the hills," nor did he opt for "Running free" to "22 Acaica avenue" in order to rot away torn down by "The loneliness of the long distance runner." He sought help from the world's leading premier hair replacement experts at Optima Hair Specialists Ltd.

    "I wasn't "Clairvoyant" and didn't see this coming," says Bayley, "I felt like a "Stranger in a strange land" and in a "Strange World." As it turns out, Optima was my "Sanctuary.""

    With Optima, "Somewhere in time" after fourty does not need to be "Purgatory."

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  3. bravo, metal inquisition! bravo!!! this is the kind of entertainment i have come to expect from you guys! brilliant...simply brilliant! BRAVO!

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