Retroview: Excel - The Joke's On You

First of all, I am listening to Mortal Decay as I write this, and man, they're sweet. What a totally underrated band. The originators of "Jersey shore slamming sickness!"

But anyway, growing up as a stupid white kid on the West coast, it goes without saying that I was super into Suicidal Tendencies and anything remotely associated with them. Yes, that includes Infectious Grooves. I would have given anything to ride on Sarsippius' Ark. It also included Excel, the poor man's Suicidal Tendencies, especially this album, their best release.

Sometimes I'm down in the dumps. I feel like the world's out to get me, like I can't catch a break or do anything right. Most people would put on "You Can't Bring Me Down," and while that is a great song, I find more inspiration in Excel's brand of uplifting Venice-core on this album, especially the lyrics to songs like "Drive":

You need drive
To survive
That's no jive

And you know what? It isn't jive! Lyrics like that will really pick you up off the ground when you need a helping hand. And when it's time to put the moves on the woman, don't move the needle off that turntable! You can leave the Excel record on, because their cover of "Message In A Bottle" is up next! Chicks love The Police. Make tantric love while you jam to the double bass in Excel's version of this classic song.

Another good one is "Never Denied." I like the part that goes, "People say Dan, why are you so negative? / I say it's the world in which we live." Amen, brother. People ask me a lot why I am so negative. I also tell them it's the world in which we live.



But the best song on this album is actually only on the 12" single that came out around the same time (and on the CD version), "Blaze Some Hate." I love that song. In fact, today I was in a meeting. It was so boring I wanted to chop off my dick like the Japanese guy in that movie "Click." But instead, I wrote "BLAZE SOME HATE" over and over again on my notepad, just like on the cover of this record. I'm pretty good at it now, I can totally copy it.