Friday, February 22, 2008

What do you do when posers like sweet bands?


Sometimes a good band becomes popular with the wrong crowd through no fault of their own. For example, High On Fire. Nobody could possibly suggest they are anything but 100% legit, but the fact is that most of their fans are posers, and beardos. What's a guy to do?

I know it's stupid, but to be honest it ruins a band for me. Like Carcass. When I was a kid, I loved them. But they have inspired so many awful "melodic death metal" bands (lolololololololz @ melody having a place in death metal!! Who ever heard of such a stupid idea?!) that now I want to borrow Nocturnus' time machine and kill the baby Jeff Walker. It's not their fault, but at the end of the day, they're responsible for their actions and they must pay. Same goes for bands like Dillinger Escape Plan, Sepultura, and Iron Maiden. Especially Iron Maiden. And who would have ever guessed that a genre like crossover could be overrun with posers? But here it is, 2008, and there are more DRI and Cryptic Slaughter dick riders than ever, and they all need to be doused with AIDS pronto.


That's why I like to stick to genres like goregrind and wigger slam, because they're like kryptonite for posers. I mean think about it. No beardo has ever bought a Viral Load or Disconformity record to impress a chick, and they never will. And that's the way it should be.

23 comments:

  1. Well said.

    Mastodon is another completely legit band with a really douchey audience.

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  2. I hope you aren't saying a band with DAVE WITTE on drums are posers, cuz that'd make you a poser, poser.

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  3. I like "the Waste", and Dave and Tony are good guys. I was gonna tell stories but that seemed "gay" so I erased them.

    I know what you mean, though. I've had this conversation with people before, regarding Mastodon, who it's become hard for me to listen to because of the oddly over-hyped popularity - which is not at all their fault, because they are great, and legit, and I don't know why any of it bothers me in the least. It's a strange phenomenon...

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  4. municipal waste is fuckin rad. i totally understand what youre sayin with this topic,but municipal waste is legit thats all im sayin...

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  5. Yeah, the modern crossover revival is horrible, same with "retro-thrash". "Heartwork" is sick though, like all huge albums that start trends it's great, but the imitators are horrible. It's like if a real hot parent has a ugly, stupid child.

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  6. this is nothing new. people want to be a part of anything that's exclusive, which metal has always been. now you've got the Pitchfork crowd raving about Pig Destroyer and the birth of a subgenre: "hipster metal". i guess it's up to the metal elite to buy out Ticketmaster and camp outside shows to hand out quizzes about Century Media's early catalog, or cruise the cineplex looking for metal shirts so they'll know which records to throw out when they get home. point is: bands don't give a fuck who listens, why should you?

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  7. i dunno about all the hype bein jizzed about "heartwork"..i thought that album was kinda dumb. that goofy song "no love lost" especially..why listen to carcass try and be some slow metal band after they were a great grind band,when there was plenty of other shit that sounded better than heartwork? i think that album blows.

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  8. i'm just saying, if you stick with listening to Pyrexia and Devourment, you can always be sure that you'll be poser-free.

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  9. It is a fact that "Heartwork" fucking sucks. I never understood what was supposed to be interesting with that album, it is inferior to even "Swansong" (which, incidentally, I never understood why people wanted to hate all the god damned time.)

    Perhaps the most grotesque example of the whole single-album-causing-entire-genre-of-shit-followers is "Slaughter of the soul;" if I have to listen to another seventeen worthless vegan straightedge metalcore abortions with IBM Model M bass drums and wafer thin drop-d guitar tones I'm going to shoot myself in the face with an old school (or "old style" if that floats your riverboat) Saturday night special, in the face.

    Here's a nugget of fright and a blow to the face of any decent man with a cock in his pants: the reanimated reformed corpses of both Carcass and At the gates are playing Wacken this year.

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  10. you might be poser free if you stick with wigger slam,but then again i dont really like that stuff. too butch for me,and plus it sounds like a clicky typewriter.

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  11. faggots? you mean like faggots who spend time writing their blogs?

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  12. i must object to the word 'faggot' used on this post so much. im no PC fag, but i know some gay dudes whose taste in music would rival any of ours.

    ANYWAY, i think its kinda weird for me to hear all these people talk about what posers listen to. i didnt even know posers still excisted. no one i've hung out with in the last 12 years even knows who Cryptic Slaughter are/were. i dont even know who mastodon or high on fire are. by the time heartwork came out i already thought carcass had sucked for years. maybe i should be happy that im old and became jaded a looooooong time ago. i can still listen to metallica's black album or DRI full steam ahead and not give a fuck who's around me, because the people i hang out with these days couldnt tell the difference anyway.

    take my advice: move to a rich suburb, shop at banana republic and only hang out with people who listen to top 40 music. you life will be poser-free AND you'll be able to listen to motley crue w/o worrying about whose hands your ipod might fall onto. seriously.

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  13. faggots? you mean like faggots who spend time writing their blogs?

    precisely.

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  14. in fact just now i was trying to think of something more embarrassing than "blogging," but i couldn't. well maybe listening to at the gates. but that's it.

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  15. the Waste isn't hipster or ironic because there is no inside joke. They aren't pretending to be anything or have deep thoughts. They play fast music about drinking beer. It's that simple. If you want poseurs checkout 3 Inches of Blood.

    Now is Municipal Waste REALLY gonna fuck you up? I'm not sure.

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  16. i think you need to use your filter a little more on here.

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  17. I LOVE PENIS!!!!! TASTE IS good.

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  18. "gay" and "faggot" are two different types of people, on the opposite ends of the same spectrum. same as "black" and "nigga". or "music fan" and "poser". or "of humble background" and "bigoted redneck".

    you get da pic.

    so, "faggot" is used here justifiably.

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  19. i thought it was clear i used that term tongue in cheek. if not, apologies.

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  20. did you really need to go down the f*gg*t word route?

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  21. Who is worse, the "posers", or the dude wasting his time whining about it on a blog? (Or the dude wasting his time commenting on a fuckin blog, but hey, what else is the internet at work for?)

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  22. This entire blogspot is posted by a poser...calling something wigger slam? Are you serious? CALLING ANYTHING DAVE WITTE IS A PART OF POSER CROSSOVER? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

    You fuckin name dropped Dillinger but then you dis Dave Witte, possibly the most versatile drummer in all the land? ARE YOU FAILURE WITH THE WITTE ONE FOOT BLAST?!

    You're retarded.

    Metal Inquisition is a joke along with the bias hypocritical jargon that goes along with it.

    BAH!

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  23. i like the waste but id still rather spin the dirty rotten lp any day. new thrash leaves alot to be desired but has its moments. like witchtrap. and adrenicide.

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