Monday, February 25, 2008

Nuclear Assault Band Members Talk About Their Dreams And Aspirations. Dan Lilker Shows Us His Tiny Teeth.

Have you ever watched one of those shows on A&E where they interview inmates who are doing hard time for unbelievably heinous crimes? Those guys seem to always talk about the very caring, and amazing things they would do if they were out of jail. "I would like to be with my daughter every day, hug her and kiss her...and I would start an organization to help other men whose lives went wrong so they could learn to walk the righteous path."

Just like hearing a guy who was convicted of triple homicide and rape talk about his dreams, hearing members of Nuclear Assault talk about what they would do if they weren't in Nuclear Assault seems a bit disturbing and wrong. Yes they are entitled to their dreams, but they have inflicted so much pain on humanity.

Please note:

1. Dan Lilker looks like he has down syndrome, or fetal alcohol syndrome. One of the two. or maybe both.
2. Is said syndrome to blame for his insane tooth to gum ratio? This guy puts Molly Ringwald to shame
3. Dan's Wehrmacht shirt. By the way, the guys in that band should have really thought about their band's name a bit harder. At the risk of sounding overly did they come up with the name? "I know guys, since we're going to be a funny crossover band...let's name ourselves after the Nazi armed forces? Funny huh?" Yikes.


  1. 2 very important points need to be made here:

    1. nuclear assault were in fact an awesome band
    2. john connelly seems to suggest that he did, infact, grow up to become a "rock star". i dunno buddy, singing for nuclear assault isn't exactly what i think when i think "rock star", but i might be wrong.

    OK, so here's another boring story about my murky metal past (maybe i should write a book)...
    i went to some metal fest in jersey a few months after 9/11. manowar, cannibal corpse, dri and nuclear assault (reunited) were headlining. they had 3 stages going. you know the deal with these fests: every band uses the same gear and some idiot wearing a deep purple shirt and sweatpants behind the PA mixer makes sure they all sound like shit. ANYWAY, dri and cannibal corpse had already played on the other stages, so everyone had come to the main stage to see nuclear assault's reunion show to be followed by manowar. the place was fucking PACKED. so, nuclear assault come out and play 'critical mass' and the place went apeshit. i mean as big a pit as i had seen in the golden days of the milwaukee metal fest (remind me one of these days and ill tell you about the biohazard set at the mmf in 93). so, john connelly starts talking to the crowd and people are screaming and shit, and im psyched! the show promises to be a bruiser! the follow up with 'brain death' and straight to 'brainwashed' by now, in sweating my ass off covered in beer and have befriended a handful of sweaty heshers in the pit. im in heaven. it had been a good 7 years since i had any desire to 'mosh' but the dri set had me in the mood. anyhow, connelly comes back on and starts talking about 9/11. 'oh, fuck!' i thought. i forgotten that nuclear assault were all liberals and shit! i know connelly and/or lilker were about to say something that was gonna get all my new friends in the pit all pissed off. so lilker says that we should be united in a moment like this and that not all arabs are terrorists. i had never seen a crowd turn so fast on a band. people were booing and throwing shit at them and after a few moments nuclear assault simply put their shit down and left. after 3 songs! i was fucking pissed. but then manowar went on and i forgot all about nuclear assault.

  2. you have to love nyc area audiences.

  3. baby teeth are the WORST. killer wehrmacht shirt though.

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